The rise of coconut water is somewhat puzzling to me. I tried it once, didn't like it, moved on. But it seems that every day it's a bigger thing than it was before. Coconut water is this year's pomegranate juice. And I had to wonder, "Why?"

 

For most people, it seems that coconut water is an alternative to Gatorade. I never drink Gatorade, so this was somewhat puzzling to me. When I get thirsty, I drink water. It works pretty well. I know a lot of people feel that they need to "hydrate properly after a workout." But rest assured that water will properly hydrate you. 

If you're worried about your electrolytes, maybe eat a banana. If you are concerned about your sodium levels, don't be. Seriously, Americans eat way too much sodium in the first place, we don't need to go around scrounging for ways to eat more.

 

Plus, the issue of "hydrating properly after a workout" is pretty ridiculous to begin with. Unless you are literally running a marathon (or suffer from an eating disorder), it's seriously not that big a deal, trust me. 

 

I have found a surprising number of comments expressing some variation of, "I like it so much, it must be good for me! My body knows what it needs, and I guess it needs something in coconut water." The first time I saw a comment like this, I rolled my eyes and moved on. But the fifth, sixth, seventh time, I had to wonder. Is this a new thing? Equating a craving for something to a physical need for it?

 

Because if that's true, then clearly my body is lacking in some kind of vital nutrient that can only be provided by a Dairy Queen "Georgia Mud Fudge" Blizzard.

 

Proponents of coconut water tout claims like "better than Viagra" and "anti-aging antioxidants." This is the same old pseudoscientific claptrap we have heard about every bogus snake oil product since the beginning of time. I am not convinced. I am particularly not convinced to pay the crazy high prices for coconut water.

 

About the only claim I'm prepared to accept is that "coconut water is good for a hangover." That's because medically speaking, a hangover is simply a case of dehydration. Any kind of water will cure a hangover. Water that comes out of a coconut? Sure. Or tap water, if you want to be frugal about it.